Long Time between "drinks"...

Havent wrote for ages, yet since my last few writings... Ive had more to think about than ever.
Im like a broken down record sumtimes, i just keep repeating the same lines over n over again.
I keep upsetting my friends with the same old sadsack stories.
I decide to only write things down when they get bad.
Medication of anytype doesnt work.
The only thing i live off is other peoples happiness.
I shove people i like onto my friendz becuase i KNOW i carnt make myself happy.
I know that seeing them with my mates will make me happy.

The times you remember important events in your life, you remember the bad things first. The first things that pop into your head are the things that have brought you down the most. When your close friend pushes you away for a guy, so you rely on a chick to make you happy. But it turns out your not good enough for her. She cheats on you, 3 times in a month. You break up with her... N she begs you bak! You want to be there for her, but you carnt... becuase for the first time in your life... you are the problem...

You take the blame for then on, even if it isnt remotely anything to do with you. Maybe its about time that you woke up n smelt the roses. The roses you sleep with forever.

So many people you want to be close to, but you know its forbidden. SO many times you only need someone to give you a hug... and even that carnt be done. You let your friends down everychance ur given. Running so hard and so far you don't know when to stop... oncoming lights... oblivion.

Ironic this... I help every1 but myself... I point out the good things in life to other people, where i am blind to them in my own.

My life is like a book, and each of my friends represent a Character that struggles in life with a particular motif.

Lauren - Struggles to relate to the main char's... takes this misunderstanting unto herself
Maegen - The support for the story, gives a certainty to the plot
Claire - Struggles tohold steady relationships, gives the motif of dissapointment
Aamer - Always need a token, obtains "popularity" through the opposite sex
Brooke - Silent & sweet... seems ironically Innocent
Matt - Missunderstood, Dont judge a book by its cover
Gezz - The "dumpee", receives everything
Stui - Thuggish, yet true type of frend, motif of loyalty
Jordan - Asshole of the book, tries to pimp everything on two legs... heart breaker
Elise, Monj, Jenny, Anwen - Claire'z Krew, comes with claire in an all-for-one deal
Multiple crushes - The object of lust, yet the happiness obtained by the main char is via the happiness shown by aamer, gezz n multiple others. "Fountain of happyness"

This Post been random enough yet, i hate speaking metophorically... But it just switches things in my mind, like i look at it in a different way. MGS teachers misunderstand the fact that mayb, just MAYBE the students do have problems that are not in any way inclined with the skool. Things that will not be in any way assisted by the continous bombardment of h/w and detentions.

See this from anothers P.O.V...

A teacher issues you with over 100 question to have completed by the first day bak from holidays, when you have not been able to write for the entire holidays. And currently still have problems with prolonged writing periods. You turn up to ur first lesson and he issues you with a detention to have these question completed by the next day. Unable to complete the lump sum given to you by this teacher, he issues you with two MORE detentions. You carn't tell him that youve saved a person from killing themself, and another from hurting themself... (later you learn that in fact you could help the person that hurt themself). They don't understand that you can understand what's happening to people, because YOU HAVE BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT!

Retarded skool system decides to help you finally when you drops an average of 3 grades in every single subject. Including failing your 3/4 Oral.
"Maybe we should consider special consideration"
HELLO!? how long does it fucking take to realise that maybe he's not coping with life, and mayb at times... he decides that there's no point in living through the pain of going home, and realising you're never going to be able to please to please the beast. 4 hrs of h/w isnt good enough because you've Only tried your best... and that isnt good enough... Its not your fault your too stupid & distrscted to understand anything. Only subject your're dowen gud with is english, because the teacher admires your negative outlook on life :)... like i said before... skool is retarded...

I think this is enough to tire you all over... mayb some one will see it, mayb they wont... either way, i dont understand what ive just written. It is scrawl... n scrawl is not meant to make sense sumtimes.

Adios ~> Rob